Jomo Kenyatta Benevolent Dictator

This is an article written by my friend Kennedy Oduor. In it he gives his reasons why Kenya needs a dictator. I have some sympathy for what he says because if you look at the progress of Rwanda under President Kagame or Uganda under President Museveni it has been relatively more dramatic and more smooth than that of Kenya.

However i would add we need a benevolent dictator in Kenya and we do not really need an authoritarian regime as Ken proposes. However one can see where he is coming from as democracy has not delivered to Kenyans any substantial gains yet.

Odour also tackles the question of AID from the west and here we are in agreement we need to enable our people to stop becoming more dependent on AID and turn them into entrepreneurs.

This is why we have formed the STOP AID MOVEMENT join us at http://stopaid.org

Without further a do here is the explosive and thought provoking article from Ken. Feel free to comment and lets have a discussion on this.

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Kenya does not need democracy. Kenya does not need a new constitution. Kenya does not need a judicial reform or police reforms.

Kenya needs a dictator.

To me democracy is embargoed by God, democracy is the opiate of NGOs, and other groups that thrive best in calling press conferences and telling the evils in governments. Democracy is the wishful thinking of the USA that keeps bombing civilians in Afghanistan and Iraq. It’s the blabber of the fangless UN and NATO that stood when 10,000 people were being killed per day in Rwanda.

Democracy is the day-dreaming of Martha Karua that forgot about the same when her tribesman took over the leadership of this country and a click of them decided to sweep it into an abyss. It is the wallow of Raila Odinga that cannot point a finger at Museveni the warlord when he directly insults his people.

Democracy is your jealousy when you can’t get the job coz your uncle is not the employer. It is the slow, backward thinking that all Luos will gain visas when Obama became President of USA. Democracy is an fantasy of the West that keep pouring aid into Africa when that money is channeled into secret kitties.

Democracy is the invention of God. Handed over to man. And which man said, “Sorry we don’t like what it sounds like. Please give it to NGOs. They can better make noise that we won’t listen to!”
That is why KENYA NEEDS A RUTHLESS DICTATOR. Not for five years but for 15 to 30 years. There are two sides of head, the right and left cheek. One side can be scarred while the other is smooth like the thigh of a geisha girl. A good example is Saddam Hussein. He was good to the extreme and bad to the extreme. He made sure Iraq was economically strong, even with the gothic hand of Bush constantly poking him.

He built first class highways, universities, hospitals, and sewerage systems. But sorry that he gassed his own people, massacred his opponents. There are two sides of the coin. And am talking about the good side of a dictator.

We need an economic dictator to be precise.

Look at Chavez the Venezuelan Kingpin. His country is so rich he once gave free oil to USA. How about Gaddafi? He doesn’t want people telling him to go home. Why? Because he knows that people like Kibaki will take over from him and mess his hard earned economic strength? He crashes the opponents with a huge punch. He throws belligerents into the red sea. Why? Because he knows that should he leave, the rats will invade the treasury and start dragging out sacks of maize even though they know that you cannot cart away more than 10 billion without being seen.

Ohh and look at Cuba. The brothers have proved good shepherds of the Cuban flock. They don’t have those fuel-guzzling cars. They don’t own golf resorts. They are angels sent by God to tell Americans that you cannot assume the position of God. You cannot scatter armies across the world in the pretence of keeping world peace!

That is God’s prerogative, which even a big and tall Hussein Obama, cannot assume.
Kenya needs a dictator to take over this country. Raila can be a good dictator but lack the balls to take over land grabbed by people that were handsomely rewarded by the colonial masters. He cannot tell Moi to hand over the loot. He cannot tell the Kenyatta family to let go of the loot and the land.
Kenya needs a dictator so ruthless the thieves will start giving out stolen property without being asked. a dictator that will cut the ministries to ten or five. Call a press conference and announce:

“Today marks the true independence of this country from the dogs and the fat cats. It is sad but by the powers given to me by the constitution of the republic of Kenya, I hereby order the reduction of MPs’ salaries from 800,000 to 150,000. I further direct that all the ministries shall from today henceforth be given Toyota 110 and…and if they deem so unfit, they should be allowed to use their salary to acquire Mercedes E-Class”.

“I further direct the removal of the Anti-corruption Commission and order them to be redeployed into a new Ministry of Social Welfare for Orphans and widows. I disband the institution of both the Prime Minister and Vice President. I further direct that no one should masquerade as an assistant minister as I will not appoint any, but will bestow my trust in Permanent Secretaries and the Ministers whose positions will be advertised and every Kenyan with the relevant qualifications shall fill”

“With powers conferred to me as the only one above the law, I order no Presidential elections until after 30 years. This order is only subject to change should I die. I bar all persons against talking politics in the press, but to personally write to me should they have an idea or complaints. Alternatively call me on 000001009000111. I order that only journalists without blood to write columns that cast doubt on my type of leadership!”

“I scrap all entertainment and sitting allowance for both the Ministers and MPs. How can you deliberate on the issues of your country while standing?”

“This now means that the tax payer has been saved. Not by me, but by The Almighty God. This means that the Kenyans shall have crossed to the Promised Land. The land that was promised by the past three presidents but none did give, instead they left you at the gates of hell”.

“I order the reduction of all taxes by 50%. I order that water and electricity shall be free of charge. The basic prices of commodities such as sugar, flour, and oil shall be one in all shops, supermarkets and village markets”

“Given that Kenya has not been involved in any cross border war since independence, we shall disband the corrupt City and Country Councils, and the Armed Forces, the Army will from now on constitute the same. They shall be trained on the psychology of parking and receipting”.

“And now I cut my own salary from 2 million to 500,000”.

“And now to my opponents that will call themselves opposition in parliament, be advised that you shall have nothing to oppose as we shall be giving to the people and not taking. I advise you against sabotage as this plot will be met with excessive force that it deserves. We are prepared to kill you for the sake of the country. We rather one head than thousands killed by drought and diseases”.

“We are messengers of God sent to set an example in Africa. To refuse blood aid from America, Germany, France and United Kingdom. We are the men and women sent to bring glory to the black continent – to give color to it”.

“We are sent to save the wounds between the legs of girls in Darfur, Turkana, and Northern Uganda”
“With this trend Gaddafi and I, through the help of Fidel Castro, Hugo Chavez, and Ahmed Abnijaad shall annex Africa…shall transform Africa into the true jungle it once was. The jungle without guns and aid workers”
“Let me take this chance to warn Museveni. I understand your crave for blood, Mr. Kaguta. It’s long since you pillaged in mass. I know that killing the Nilotes has been your obsession. In fact, let me be clear by saying that the Northen Ugandans have been reduced to ashes. You now are looking for more. Your appetite for blood is so high when you see the Kenyan Nilotes. But, I have news for you, Amin Destroyer! That the Kenyan Nilotes are under my wings. And should you try my patience again, I will push you over to the Congo basin where your soldiers are stealing gold!”

“God bless Kenya, God bless Africa, God punish the blood aid pretenders of the West!”

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Kennedy Odour is the Editor of Apprentice Life Magazine in Kenya.